I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
