arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
