I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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