Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
