I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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