I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
