the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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