big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
