I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
