I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
