put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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