Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
