you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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