They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
