I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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