lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
