Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
