This is not my ceiling
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
