Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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