I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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