By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
