ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
