i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
