I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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