haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
