The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
