don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
