You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
