i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
