you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My dad just said "fuck circus"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
