I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I miss vodka workout Fridays
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
