she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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