Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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