Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
