I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
