It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
