I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize