my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
