I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
