Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
