so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I supernannyed him into submission
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
