at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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