I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
