Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
