As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
