Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
