I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
