don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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