I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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