you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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