garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize