Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
