Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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