so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize