It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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