I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize