He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
