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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
