I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize