omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Omg I joined a choir last night...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
