Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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