Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize