I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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