Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
