Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
