Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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