Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
