i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
