Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize