Got a toothbrush?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
