So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize