I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
