this boner is exhausting
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
