yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
