Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
